By: Stephen Horn
Over the past three years on my Human Design journey, I’ve experienced a whirlwind of emotions, delving into layers of self-awareness, and acceptance, and gaining new insights. Growing up as my mom’s emotional support, I became an emotional adult early on, finding solace in peculiar rituals like binging on Peanut Butter M&M’s while blasting my favorite tunes to cope with the whirlwind of feelings.
Fast forward to today, revisiting my childhood home brings a flood of memories and reflection. Standing in my dad’s house, I gaze across the street at my first apartment, triggering thoughts on the purpose of this nostalgic trip.
Thanks to Human Design, I’ve learned to read my body’s signals – leg inflammation warns of pushing too hard, a sore throat indicates talking too much, and shortness of breath signals rushing. Or heartburn followed by anxiousness which meant I wasn’t in control of the outcome of a situation. My furry friend, Oura, has also been a mirror, reflecting my unspoken emotions.
Let’s talk about bitterness. What I thought was mostly forms of envy or jealousy; it’s a complex emotion. Human Design helped me unravel patterns of trust and second chances. Unexpressed anger, harbored internally, morphed into bitterness. Suppressing anger, I thought I was in control, but I was deceiving myself.
Bitterness is a tricky emotion. It starts with hurt, turns into resentment, and if left unchecked, becomes corrosive anger, which ultimately turns into sour bitterness. Recognizing that suppressed anger was the root of my bitterness was a game-changer. Bitterness creates a distorted reality by replaying past injustices in my mind, perpetuating negativity.
For advisors, hidden bitterness can hinder personal and professional growth. Unresolved anger silently erodes the foundation of success. Transforming bitterness into success begins with forgiveness – a tough but liberating journey. It’s about reclaiming agency over your pain, and taking charge of your emotional well-being.
Many advisors may carry unresolved bitterness, holding onto grudges that ultimately harm us more than the other person. Clinging to bitterness hurts only ourselves. To heal, forgiveness is crucial, but it doesn’t mean forgetting or reinstating the same level of access to those who hurt us. It’s about forgiving ourselves.
Forgiveness can feel daunting because it might seem like letting the other person off the hook, and we want them to take responsibility for our pain. Yet, reframing the questions we ask ourselves reveals the truth. Instead of wondering, “How could they hurt me like that?” we should ask, “How did I allow myself to be hurt in that situation?” This shifts the focus to our actions and decisions.
Inspired by this Quote from Ra Uru Hu, “Wisdom hides in your openness. It hides behind the distortion of conditioning, but it’s there. Wisdom arises out of the awareness of what you are as opposed to what you are not.” I began to use my alone time for rest, relaxation, and reflection.
Reflecting on my experiences, I noticed patterns in times I felt unheard. I recognized moments when I could have made different decisions but didn’t. Pushing down red flags to fit in, trying to change others, and losing myself in the process led to betrayal. I realized the other person revealed their true self from the beginning, and I betrayed myself by ignoring it.
If I were more self-aware then, with the knowledge I have now, I would have made different decisions about certain people in my life. I wouldn’t have extended friendships or relationships past their expiration date. That faint voice urging me to let go was ignored for a false sense of safety. Going back to moments of hurt, I see the decisions I made that allowed me to be hurt. Recognizing this truth is a tough but necessary step toward healing and growth.
So, to advisors grappling with unresolved bitterness, it’s time for introspection. Acknowledge and resolve suppressed anger – it might be the key to unlocking untapped success. Show kindness and compassion to yourself, embrace forgiveness, and recognize the distorted nature of operating from the not-self state.
The journey from bitterness to success is a dance of self-discovery, forgiveness, and reclaiming control over your emotional landscape. It’s a story of resilience, growth, and transformation – a journey from the shadows of past grievances into the illuminating light of self-awareness and personal triumph. It’s worth it, and you’re worth it.
Meet Stephen, a seasoned 6/2 Emotional Projector with over 15 years of hands-on experience in Talent Acquisition and Employer Branding. His approach centres on “Working Smarter,” specializing in crafting and implementing efficient hiring strategies, particularly in the fast-paced and complex worlds of Healthcare and Bio-Pharmaceutical (Drug Discovery) Industries.
Stephen’s educational journey includes earning a Master of Arts in Sports Management from Kent State University in 2015, following his Bachelor of Science in Business Administration (AACSB Accredited) from Youngstown State University. In 2016, he embarked on a transformative journey, covering 2434 miles from Ohio to embrace the sunny vibes of Los Angeles.
In 2019, Stephen stumbled upon the Human Design System and has been on an intriguing journey of deconditioning ever since. Delving into the intricate layers of HD and BG5®, he is passionate about understanding the depths of these systems and integrating them with his coaching practice to help his clients with complex trauma.
Stephen’s life mission centers around spotting and dissolving old community interaction patterns, aiming to guide individuals from reactive responses to more thoughtful, responsive engagements. He is on a mission to shift people from a stagnant status quo to a place of forgiveness, changing the narrative of what’s possible for our world.
